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it all seems to just be falling apart.
i was doing really good almost 5 months then one night changed it all.
all those nights telling myself im worth more than this telling myself there is another way.
i just had to start over.
and this time it is so much easier to give in then to stay strong.
im driving myself crazy.
my heads spinning.
my heart raceing.
and everything is just going wrong.
i need someone to talk to but i have no one anymore.
the dont get it.
and i push people away before they get to close to hurt me </3
five months clean
All gone to waste
i honestly dont know what to do anymore.
everything is so overwhelming.
i cant take much more.
my head is spinning there is so much on my mind.
mostly the past.
so many people tell me let go of it.
and look forward.
its so hard when some of my pastt.
haunts me everyday.
and some of that past wasnt meant to stay in the past.
it was suppose to move forward with me.
i hate life.
im sick of crying.
i just want some sleep
is it to much to ask anymore </3
(Source: suicidalsorrow, via soundlesss)
12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)
most of the blades i have i threw away but i still have one,
the guy im inlove with got me a necklace for christmas.
and the blade is in that box right next to it </3
i could really use someone anyone to talk to !
theres so much on my mind and i cant take it.!
i hate myself.
and its so hard not to just give in and cut.
3 months clean i dont wanna see that all go to waste. </3
11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself?
i dont really have one,
most of the times its in the shower.
or in my room.
how do you feel about your scars.?
honestly i think they are beautiful.
not because of what they show but the story behind them.
they are stubbbor and dont fade away but they remind me that these days are better.
and that the past is real.